I just got a text from our landlord. "I have a quick chores today from 1145 till 1215" It’s 9:02 am. That probably means nothing. I just got back from Yale last night at 11pm so I’m exhausted and sleeping in (not like I'd get out of bed now anyways). I rearrange my pillow, slap my head against it, and go back to sleep.

I get woken up to loud knocks on our main door—"WE'RE HERE FOR THE TOUR." What the fuck. I realize Rahul and Simon are at school and the text actually meant: "I have a quick [tour] today from 1145 till 1215."

I'm wearing nothing—what the fuck do I do? If I stay, they'll walk in on me since they tour every room. If I try to leave, I'll have to put on something and walk by them—too embarrassing. I hear their voices enter the kitchen and our landlord starts glazing how nice our view is. I have two doors, one which leads to the main entrance and one that leads right to the tour group. It would be an easy choice—loiter in the main entrance while they're touring my room and then sneak back in as if nothing happened. There's a small issue. The door that leads to the main entrance only has a knob on one side so if I close it, I'll be locked in the main entrance and they'll eventually run into me. Now they're at Simon's room—literally a foot away from mine.

I do what anyone reasonable would do: I sneak into the one-foot-high gap under my bed and hide. They knock on my door and barge in. "Look how nice the carpet and bed is. See how guys don't use closets, they have no clothes." I see their feet as they walk around the bed. I've never felt more like Anne Frank. Someone mentions how much "storage space there is." I'm deathly scared that they'll look under the bed since it's the best place for storage, and I'll look like that one guy in the Keeton girl's room last year. Luckily they step out.

This happens another two times across the next 20 minutes as I'm stuck down here.